Self-awareness was the focus of the webinar organized by the MGA Network in May. Experienced international mediator Barbara Oliveira spoke with co-presenters Wendy Versteeg and Stefan Szepesi about the importance of having a good understanding of one’s own emotions, strengths, and insecurities in negotiations.

Many environmental managers and negotiators see their work as a game or a puzzle they must solve. This means they primarily approach their work with logic. Even emotions from stakeholders or partners are something to be ‘managed’. Therefore, within environmental management, curiosity or genuine interest in stakeholders is seen as an essential trait.

What is often forgotten is that negotiators are also a party involved, and that the emotions they experience also influence the outcomes of a process. If they do not acknowledge this, the emotion can ultimately cause them to make decisions that are not in their own best interest. Barbara's first piece of advice is therefore: approach yourself with curiosity instead of judging your own behavior and emotions.

What, then, is self-knowledge? Barbara Oliveira defines self-knowledge as the ability to observe oneself and reflect on it. Self-knowledge is the first step towards development. To increase your self-knowledge, there are 4 elements to explore:
Behavior
Beliefs and views
3. Culture and values
4. Structure and systems

Behavior
Everyone has behaviors that manifest in tense situations. The challenge is to observe these behaviors in yourself without immediately interpreting them. What kind of behavior do you notice in yourself when a negotiation or conversation becomes tense? Often, your body gives you clues about the tension before you realize it yourself. Recognizing this serves as a warning that your emotions might be taking over.

Beliefs and convictions In addition, everyone has certain beliefs about themselves. During a conversation, and especially during a tense negotiation, these beliefs can be activated. These can be positive beliefs, but often they are also negative thoughts, for example: ‘I don't know what I'm doing’ or ‘I'm not being taken seriously’.

If you recognize these views in yourself, you can actively convince yourself of the opposite instead of dwelling on them.

Culture and values
Our behavior is partly determined by the culture in which we grew up and the values we were given. This refers to culture in the broadest sense: national culture but also family culture. Recognizing and acknowledging those values and recognizing when they are guiding your behavior helps in making the right choices.

Structure and systems
Finally, we all have certain structures and systems that we find comfortable. In this case, it's about the structures and systems we use ourselves to feel at ease. For some, this manifests as preparing in great detail, for others, it's about tackling things ad hoc. The structures and systems we find comfortable sometimes clash with reality. You can't always work in the way you prefer. Recognizing that tension and being aware that it stems from these structures and systems makes you conscious of the actions you can take to improve it.

Practicing self-awareness
The importance of self-knowledge for a good environmental manager and negotiator is evident. But how do you increase that self-knowledge? Barbara offers a few concrete tips:

• Maintain your connection with your body. Recognize the signals during conversations, but also see what you need outside of those to release tension. For some, that's a combat sport, for others yoga, and for yet others something completely different.
• Own your own emotions. Emotions that arise also say something about the path you are on. Recognize those emotions and ask yourself what they want to say.
• Invest in yourself. Barbara distinguishes between vertical development and horizontal development in this regard. Horizontal development happens by acquiring knowledge and skills. For example, through training in active listening. In addition, you can develop yourself vertically. This is about getting to know yourself better. You can do this, for example, with a therapist or coach, or with colleagues you know well and trust.
• Finally, you spend most of your day working. It's a shame to leave personal development solely to training sessions or coaching. Use your regular days as learning opportunities to develop yourself.

If you want to rewatch Barbara Oliveira's webinar, you can do so via this link. To learn more about the MGA network, please visit www.mga-network.nl.

Senior consultant

Mart Scheepers